A Challenge (or: "Exoti-blah, anyone?")

OK, here's the deal. I know some of you bloggers out there with huge collections of Tiki, Exotica, Jazz, what-have-you... I know you're looking at this blog, because every once in a while I get some comments! I like comments! So, to spice up the summer (or winter, in the Southern Hemisphere), I offer this little challenge...

We all know that there is some abso-FARKING-lutely BRILLIANT Tiki-zotica out there on the blogs & shareblogs. GREAT stuff. Pride of the collection and all that. Things that make the blog-poster smile all the way to the hard drive when they get one of these jewels at the thrift store. Agreed? Ok.

Here's the challenge. What is the WORST piece of exoti-drek you have in your library. Klangers. Klunkers. Things that make you wince in abject terror. Really really REALLY bad stuff. Something that goes beyond boring or mediocre. A piece of crap. Something that deserves to be made into an ashtray (almost).

Got one? Post it up on your blog! Let me know where it is and we can all judge it.

I did a "Klanker of the Week" over on the Shellac Shanty blog and it got quite a few comments, because there wre some real screechers made on the 78rpm shellac. And I doggone good and well KNOW that there are some screechers in the thrift store piles.

Here's my ante for this little shindig: "Hawaiian Paradise" by the "Hawaiian Islanders". 10 cuts of barf-on-vinyl. This thing is on the wonderful Wyncote label and has the AUDACITY to have the big "35mm stereo" banner on the jacket. This must have been sold in grocery and drug stores in such tropical places as Kansas, Arkansas, North Dakota, and southern Illinois. The musicians aren't credited (and it is a good thing), and there are no composer credits on the label, either. There is a steel guitar player, but I betcha he was yanked off the unemployment line in Nashville, because he sure sounds country... no other redeeming things about any of the other musicians, either.



What moves this LP from "boring" to "drek" is the sparse liner notes on the back jacket:

"Hawaiian music has long been at the top of the music list "most popular" with Americans.

In this album, the distinctive Hawaiian flavor instills fresh memories of that Hawaiian dancer... that unforgettable trip to the islands; or, maybe that paradise recluse for undisturbed dreamers.

Most of your favorites are in this album. However, the other selections are sure to become your favorites also. For, each song in this album is Hawaiian music as you like it... Authentic island style using the traditional combination of the ukelele, the steel guitar, and native percussion.

For each of you, this album will bring to life the distant and romantic beauty of the Hawaiian Islands... the dreamer's paradise!"

Excuse me while I go chunder....

Download (if you dare)!